Straight from Flag Land Base in Clearwater, California, The Church of Scientology announced the formation of their own synchronized swimming team. They plan to compete in the 2012 Summer Olympics which will be held in London, England. The paparazzi claim they’ve spotted Tom Cruise “courting” Michael Phelps over an expensive 12,000 calorie meal. In response to the accusation, Tom (team captain of the Synchronized Scientology Swimming Team) responded, “Look, my wife knows I love her and she knows I would never cheat. And besides, Olympic athletes are the type of fanatical geniuses perfect for Scientology. They believe everything can be cured with physical exercise and vitamins.”
When asked if they plan to represent the United States of America, newest celebrity convert Will Smith stated, ” We support the United States of America but our alien souls belong to Galactic Confederacy, therefore we will be representing Galactic Confederacy.” Will Smith continued to thank Tom Cruise for suggesting he become a method actor. He said, ” After all these years of starring as the hero in countless Science-Fiction alien movies, I finally believe what I am saying is true!”
When asked if they plan to represent the United States of America, newest celebrity convert Will Smith stated, ” We support the United States of America but our alien souls belong to Galactic Confederacy, therefore we will be representing Galactic Confederacy.” Will Smith continued to thank Tom Cruise for suggesting he become a method actor. He said, ” After all these years of starring as the hero in countless Science-Fiction alien movies, I finally believe what I am saying is true!”
Below is a picture taken at a recent team practice aboard the famous Scientology cruise ship Freewinds.
Clockwise, starting with the eleven o’clock hour Tom Cruise, at one o’clock Will Smith, three o’clock Lisa Marie Presley, five o’clock John Travolta, seven o’clock Jason Lee, and nine o’clock Juliette Lewis.
